You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
