Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
