I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
