Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Ladies don't puke and tell
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
