Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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