spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
