so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
