Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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