I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
