I accidentally burped into my bong.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
