its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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