i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We talked him into tasing himself.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
