Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
