porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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