Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
