Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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