Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Randomize
