can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize