This girl is more easily done than said...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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