Pregnant stripper...not hot.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
