matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
