Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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