I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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