how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
