I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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