I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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