she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize