I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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