Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
