That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
