Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Do vagina's smell?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize