If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
