Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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