pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
