I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
