Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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