It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
