Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
