don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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