I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
