But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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