yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
