glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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