is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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