like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
