Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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