Me. At least after what I've been through.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
