obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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