just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
