I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Houston, we have a squirter
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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