It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
