what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
