I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
