I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you didnt know i had herpes?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I pour the whiskey from now on
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
