You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
