Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
