Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
