It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
