how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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