I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
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