Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
