Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
