weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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