hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I am mentally ready for anal.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
