We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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