So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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