once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
