Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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