Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
