is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
